Sagittarius (November 22-December 20)

Perhaps it's time now to mention that, while your sign is indeed conventially represented by a centaur, the stares drawn by your making clip-clop noises when you walk down the street are not admiring ones, good-looking women resent being whinnied at, and even your best friends are unimpressed when you say "I've gotta piss like a racehorse."

Sagittarius (November 22-December 20)