Gemini (May 21-June 20)

After consulting with my attorneys, I have prepared this statement: I never stated that Gemini is not a sign of the zodiac. I have never knowingly disparaged any person or persons born between May 19 and June 22, irrespective of year. I have never used the offices of this horoscope to call down righteous vengeance upon any individuals, regardless of how absolutely deserving of cosmic wrath they may be. I stand foursquare behind all prior forecasts made herein and apologize profoundly for any misinterpretations any pinhead Geminis may have applied to such forecasts. I deny categorically authoring that last sentence. Thank you.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)